Aren't You Pregnant, Konzen?
by am1thirteen
Summary: “Yo!” Gokuu grinned, “Ne, ne, Nataku! Listen! Listen! I have done something! Guess what? I will have a baby! I will be a father!” So… weren’t you pregnant, Konzen? GokuuxKonzen


------------------------------------------------------

By:  Ami

Beta Reader: kitsune-oni

-- Aren't You Pregnant, Konzen? -- 

Err… honestly, I didn't know if people in Tenkai could make babies. ^^;; But Konzen is Kanzeon Bosatsu's nephew right?

DISCLAIMER : Fine, Saiyuki isn't mine! *sobs*

GENRE           : Humor/Romance

RATING          : PG

PAIRINGS      : Gokuu/Konzen (Yep! It's the right order!)

TRAILER        : "Yo!" Gokuu grinned, "Ne, ne, Nataku! Listen! Listen! I have done something! Guess what? I will have a baby! I will be a father!" So… weren't you pregnant, Konzen?

WARNING     : shounen-ai, fluff, curses, hopefully, it didn't turn out too OOC.

OTHER           : Sappy songs recommended while reading this fic. ^w^

Here we go…

Gokuu looked at the baby happily. He had never seen a baby before, so he had become very excited when one of the maids had showed him her baby.

"Look, Gokuu." the kind maid smiled, "He is cute, isn't he?"

"Uhn! Konzen must see him!" Gokuu answered excitedly.

"I'm so glad that you like him." the maid cuddled her baby tenderly, "He is just 3 months. He is still very weak. I will have to stop working for a while to take care of him."

Gokuu held the small hand of the energetic baby happily. The baby was very cute! He wondered if Konzen would let him have a baby… but… wait… where did a baby come from? Could he buy it in the store? Or did it grow from the soil like flowers?

"Naa… maid-nee-chan…" Gokuu asked with shimmering golden eyes, "Where does a baby come from?"

The maid turned red at the question. She coughed while thinking of how to explain to Gokuu about the adult thing.

"Ahem… Gokuu… it's like this… uh… 2 people… love each other… then they can make a baby…" the maid answered hesitantly, "Yes… just like that… if you love someone, then you can make a baby with your lover…"

"Just like that?" Gokuu's eyes widened in curiosity.

The maid nodded nervously.

Gokuu's eyes shimmered even more.

Then…

He could make a baby with Konzen! Because he loved Konzen so they could have a baby! ^o^ Gokuu jumped happily at his new discovery. He could get the baby he wanted! Both the 'innocent' maid and Konzen didn't know that before this, Gokuu had discovered something else connected with this... and it had given him an idea.

"I have to go home now! There's something I have to do!"

***

"Tadaima."

Konzen sighed. The troublemaker was home.

Gokuu didn't talk much. He just stood in front of Konzen's desk with a smirk on his cute face.

Konzen lifted his head and shivered. He didn't like the mischievous glint in his pet's eyes; it only meant one thing: trouble.

Lately, Konzen found that it was hard to guess what went on inside Gokuu's mind. The boy just lived in his own world. He had become friends with the other two troublemakers: Kenren and Tenpou. He also had become friends with another naughty heretic: Nataku Taishin. And sometimes the weird cross-dresser Kanzeon Bosatsu took him out to play. Yes, there was a HUGE possibility that Gokuu had grown mischievous! He had become friends with ALL the troublemakers in Tenkai!

Konzen sighed and wiped the thoughts out of his mind.

_//I have been daydreaming too much. Gokuu is still a kid. He is just naughty; like kids in his age. Later he will grow up like what he should be.//_

So Konzen turned his attention back to his paperwork and ignored the boy's mischievous stare.

"Konzen~!" Gokuu spoke as sweet as possible with his super duper sparkling adorable puppy eyes.

Konzen sweat dropped and stopped working.

"What do you want?" he asked, looking at the saru suspiciously.

"I want something. Can you get it for me?" Gokuu asked with triple-combo super duper sparkling adorable puppy eyes.

"Depends." Konzen narrowed one eye, trying to figure out what the saru wanted this time.

"If I tell you, will you get it for me?" Gokuu widened his eyes with happiness.

"I told you it depends." Konzen answered coldly, "Just spit it out. I don't have the whole world's time for you."

"Kechi." Gokuu muttered as he walked until he reached Konzen's seat, "OK. I'll tell you. But I'm shy. So I want to whisper it to you."

"Shy?!" Konzen shrieked, "There are only two of us here! Don't try to fool me, chibisaru!" # #

"Demo… Konzen…" Gokuu whined, "Please… I am not trying to do something bad…"

Konzen gritted his teeth impatiently. Actually he was curious to know what was going on inside the saru's brain, so he decided to give in a bit. Unwillingly, he leaned down and placed his right ear in front of Gokuu's mouth; waiting for a whisper as—

*CHU*

Konzen blinked and blinked.

Gokuu grinned and turned on his heels.

Konzen still blinked.

Gokuu had gotten out of the room, running for his precious life.

Konzen got the whole picture and turned red in anger and embarrassment.

"GOKUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" # # # # # # # # # # #

***

Gokuu sighed in relief. It didn't seem that Konzen had followed him. Thank God. He hadn't really prepared himself for Konzen's wrath after the plan.

_//With this, I'll get the baby I always wanted.//_ He smiled happily. _//Our baby. Konzen and mine. I bet it will be really cute! ^o^//_

FLASHBACK

_Gokuu ran happily to Tenpou's library. He couldn't wait to borrow another comic from Tenpou. Hugging his precious books with one hand, he pushed the door without knocking and just rushed inside._

_*BUMP*_

_"TEN-CHAAAAAN~!!!!! I want to borr--" Gokuu stopped as he realized that there was an unusual atmosphere in the library. Blinking at the new picture, he put the books on the table and walked over to Kenren and Tenpou in confusion. __"Naa… Ten-chan… Ken-nii-chan… what did you two do just now?"_

_Kenren turned slight red. Tenpou just coughed and settled his glasses. Darn. Gokuu had seen them kissing. It had been even a French one._

_"Err… Gokuu…" Tenpou put a hand on Gokuu's shoulder with a smile, "We just… kissed."_

_"Kissed?" Gokuu repeated with a confused look._

_"Yes. A kiss." Tenpou smiled nervously. He didn't even know why the hell he had told something like that to a kid, "You'll do that to someone you love. See?" Tenpou leaned forward to kiss Gokuu on his forehead, "Because I love you, I kissed you."._

_Gokuu blinked and tried to process the new information inside his saru brain._

_"Aa… so… you kissed Ken-nii-chan because you love him?"_

_"Yes." Tenpou gave Kenren a 'don't worry, it's OK' look._

_"But your kiss was different! You did it mouth to mouth but you kissed me on my forehead!"_

_See? Kids are the most curious creatures on the earth. Tell them one and they'd ask you ten._

_"Err… Gokuu… every kiss has different meaning…" Tenpou gulped, "Err…a kiss on forehead means that I love you like a little brother. But kissing on lips means that I love you like… someone special."_

_"So I'm not special for you, Ten-chan?" Gokuu's eyes turned sad._

_"No! Not like that! I mean—", Tenpou thought really hard to stop the kid's questions, "Just compare it to this: between me and Konzen, who is the most special for you?"_

_"Konzen!" Gokuu answered happily, "I like him the most of all!"_

_"Yes. That's just the same." Tenpou let out a satisfied smile, "I like you, I also like Konzen, but Kenren is the most special for me. Get it?"_

_"Uhn!" Gokuu smiled cheerfully._

_"But be careful, saru." Kenren grinned; he had just decided to make fun of the little monkey a bit, "You mustn't kiss someone carelessly."_

_"Why?" Gokuu blinked stupidly._

_"Because…" Kenren made a serious face, "Kiss is a very unique and strange method… if you don't do it right… it could cause pregnancy!"_

_"P—pregnancy--?" Gokuu widened his eyes in surprise, "You mean—having a baby?"_

_"Yes." Kenren smirked, "If you kiss someone on lips, it can cause pregnancy to the one you kissed."_

_"On the lips?" Gokuu faintly brought a hand on his lips, "So… Ten-chan is—"_

_Tenpou shivered at the thought._

_"Ten-chan is…pregnant!"_

_Tenpou giggled quietly, holding his aching stomach to hold in the laughter that threatened to burst out. Kenren looked calmer than his lover because he was used to teasing Gokuu. So we could call him an expert in thing like this._

_"Yes. What do you think about that? I'm going to be a father." Kenren grinned._

_"That's great!" Gokuu jumped up to Tenpou and placed one ear on his stomach, "Where's the baby? Where is it?"_

_"Hey, don't disturb him. He needs a lot of rest." Kenren put a hand on Tenpou's shoulder protectively, "So that our baby will be healthy and smart, he has to take a nice, long rest and eat good food."_

_Tenpou had to bite down on his lip so as not to lose his composure. _

_"Aa—OK!" Gokuu retreated away, "Then I'll off now! Please take care of the baby! I want to see it when it's born!"_

_"Sure! We'll tell you when it's born!" Kenren waved a hand. As Gokuu closed the door, they looked at each other and laughed loudly together._

FLASHBACK – END

"Hey, Gokuu!" Nataku blinked at his new friend. He was kind of amused with the evil grin on Gokuu's face. "Something is new?"

"Yo!" Gokuu grinned, "Ne, ne, Nataku! Listen! Listen! I have done something!"

"Something?" Nataku raised an eyebrow and settled himself so that he was sitting comfortably beside Gokuu, "What is it? Is it fun?"

"Uhn!" Gokuu smiled happily, "Guess what? I will have a baby! I will be a father!"

Nataku's eyes grew as wide as saucers at his best friend's statements.

"A—father?!" he shrieked, "Come on! You gotta be kidding! Who is the girl?"

"Girl?" Gokuu pouted confusedly, "Is it necessary?"

Nataku became even more confused. Rubbing his sweat drop, he smiled nervously and coughed, "Err… I mean… who is your partner in making baby?"

"Oh… you mean…" Gokuu grinned, "Of course! It's Konzen! Because I love him the most!"

"Kon—zen--?" Nataku fell onto the floor nose first. _//Gee… I always thought that he looked like a girl but I didn't know that SHE was really a GIRL!//_ O.O

"What do you think about that, Nataku?" Gokuu asked.

"Err… I… congratulations, Gokuu!" Nataku smiled nervously, "But are you ready to be a father… at your age?"

"What do you mean?" Gokuu rolled his eyes in confusion.

"I mean… don't you think you're too young to be a father?" Nataku asked with a serious face, "I often go to Togenkyo for a battle so I understand about things like these…" He settled back in his seat, "Listen, as a father, you hold a huge responsibility. It's not easy. You must watch over the kid carefully, you must look for money to feed your family—I mean—*gulps* Konzen and your baby…"

"You mean I have to work?" Gokuu widened his eyes.

Nataku just nodded, "Every father must work for his family."

"But how about Konzen? Doesn't he need to work too?" Gokuu asked again.

"No. She just needs to stay at home, cook, clean, and takes care of your kid." Nataku gulped again at the thought of a pregnant Konzen.

Gokuu looked nervous now. He didn't know that being a father included so many things! And now he was holding a huge responsibility to his family—Konzen and their baby.

Noticing Gokuu's nervous face, Nataku quickly patted Gokuu's shoulder in encouragement, "Don't be too worried. Being a father isn't bad. I imagine you three… you, *gulps* Konzen, and your baby… you can make a happy family! You have to work hard for your family! I'm sure you three will be happy!" Nataku smiled, "But firstly, you'll have to prepare your marriage with Konzen now."

"I--?! Marry Konzen?!" Gokuu shrieked.

"Of course! Don't you know that having baby without being married is illegal?!" Nataku replied, "I guess you'll have to tell Kanzeon Bosatsu about what you have done with her—niece! I hope she won't be mad. I'm sure she'll let you marry Konzen after knowing that you have done 'it' to Konzen."

"Uh… OK…" Gokuu held his forehead confusedly, "I didn't know that it would be so complicated to have one baby…"

"Of course it is. A baby is a living thing. Even if it will be hard for you, you'll have to gambatte!" Nataku smiled charismatically, "For the sake of Konzen and your baby… gambatte, Gokuu!"

"Nataku…" Gokuu smiled happily, "Yes! I will do my best!"

***

Kanzeon Bosatsu spat out her tea when she heard her nephew's little saru's statements.

"WHAT?!" she got goose bumps, "Pardon?".

"Err… like what I just said…" Gokuu gulped nervously, "I—I want to marry your nephew!"

Kanzeon Bosatsu would have fallen onto the floor had the oh-so-loyal Jiroushin not been holding her tight. She swallowed nervously for a few seconds.

"Calm down, Kanzeon Bosatsu-sama…" Jiroushin sweat dropped.

"B—bubb-but—he—HE WANTS TO MARRY KONZEN!!!!!! FOR THE @&*#^&!%$& SAKE!!!!!! THIS IS A **MIRACLE**!!!!!!" Kanzeon shrieked, "This is SO fun!!!!!".

"Ano… Gokuu… but… why would you want to marry Konzen-sama?" Jiroushin asked confusedly.

"Because… he is carrying my baby now…"

This time, both Kanzeon Bosatsu and Jiroushin fell on to the floor with a loud *THUD*.

***

_//Ah… thank God… Kanzeon Bosatsu didn't seem mad…//_ Gokuu smiled at his own thoughts. _//So now I can start thinking about the baby…Hmm… since I have brown hair and Konzen has blonde hair… what hair color will our baby have? I hope it's going to be blonde, just like Konzen, because Konzen is very beautiful with his hair. Uh… Konzen is much more beautiful than me… then what can the baby inherit from me? and about the name… how about Konku? Ah! Bad! May be Zengo? Kongo? Zenku?//_

Thinking really hard, Gokuu didn't manage to escape as a gloved hand caught his collar and picked him up.

"Chibisaru…" # # # # # # # # # A furious Konzen glared at his pet.

"K—Konzen—", Gokuu widened his golden eyes, "Don't move too much! Here! Take it easy!"

Konzen narrowed one eye in confusion at the little saru's statements, "What?".

"Ah~! Konzen! You're so slow!" Gokuu spoke with a fatherly tone, "Come here! Come here! Maid-nee-chan told me that you must rest."

Konzen became even more confused. What on Earth was the saru saying? While he was thinking, Gokuu had already escaped and held his hand, pulling him back to his room.

"Here. Sleep there." Gokuu pushed Konzen onto his bed and covered him with a blanket, "Don't you worry. I'll take my full responsibility about you two. I'll try to look for a job. You just need to stay at home and take care of the kid."

Konzen twitched heavily. He didn't understand what the saru meant and it made him even madder. Responsibility? Job? Stay at home and take care of the kid?

"Why are you looking at me like that? Don't worry!" Gokuu pouted, "Here! I have borrowed some books to help you!"

Konzen turned red at the books.

Book #1: YOU AND YOUR BABY

Book #2: DURING THE PREGNANCY

Book #3: THE BEST TIME TO BEAR YOUR BABY

Book #4: FOR PREGNANT MOTHERS

Book #5: KIDS

Book #6: PRE-MARRIAGE PREGNANCY

ETC

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

*TWACK* *TWACK* *TWACK* *TWACK*

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN BY GIVING ME THESE?!!!!!" Konzen yelled furiously at the top of his lungs.

"Itte~ Konzen~ stay lying~ you need rest—"

"I WON'T SLEEP OR WHATEVER WITHOUT AN EXPLANATION!!!!" Konzen picked Gokuu up by the collar and glared at him dangerously, "Tell me *NOW*!"

"OK… but promise me you'll rest afterwards…" Gokuu struggled free from Konzen's iron grip, "Because I kissed you on the lips, you're pregnant now. So you're carrying my baby and that's why I gave you the books…"

Konzen was stunned and went blank for a few seconds.

"I have asked your aunt for your hand and she agreed. So you don't have to be worried. Our relationship will be legal and we three can make a happy fami—"

*TWACK* *TWACK* *TWACK* *TWACK* *TWACK* *TWACK*

"Itte~!!!!!" Gokuu protested, "What did you do that for?!!!"

"How *TWACK* Many *TWACK* Times *TWACK* Do I *TWACK* Have *TWACK* to tell *TWACK* You *TWACK*!!!!! I'M *TWACK* NOT *TWACK* A *TWACK* BLOODY *TWACK* GIRL!!!!" # # # # # # # #

Gokuu fell on to the floor, holding his scalp, "Itte~~~~~ Konzen~~~~~ meanie~~~~~~".

"Baka!" Konzen gritted his teeth, turned on his heels and walked to the front door, "Guys CAN'T be pregnant idiot! Keep that in your little brain!"

And he closed the door with a loud smack.

Outside the room, Konzen sighed and caught his breath. The saru always got on his nerves.

Smiling faintly, he walked back to his office. He didn't know why… but he was in the mood to do his paper work now.

***

_Being parents is sure hard._

_Make sure you're ready before being it._

_~ Ami_

_October 4th 2003_

~ OWARI ~

Bear my silliness and tell me what you think. *bows down*


End file.
